Renouncing the Subtle Abuse Disguised as Social Media Sharing

Some months ago, one of those quotation posts made the rounds on Facebook, which I shared. Something like "post what you love, not what you hate." I shared it, then made a silent vow that I would not participate in any posts that are divisive.

Of course, as is human nature, I have made a few slips since. Not blatantly hateful comments or aggressive, in-your-face quote sharing, but the subtle ones that proudly declare me as something or wave my allegiance/belief in something, or sarcastically poke fun at "the other side."

Yet, I think those are even worse. They masquerade as harmless support for a cause (and, consequently, a stand against one) and seduce you into thinking what you're doing is not divisive, but informative.

But, then there's that tiny tinge of smug self-righteousness you feel when you post it.  What is that?

It is rejoicing in your "otherness" I believe. We make "others" out of people who don't think like us, don't believe like us, don't live like us, and don't love like us. Yet, I am someone else's "other."

It is a self-perpetuating misadventure that divides acquaintances, friends, family members, churches, states, countries, and the world. And, as much as I love the Internet, Facebook, and social media in general, those channels can be particularly conducive to participating in acts of mindless divisiveness.

Every time we share a strongly one-sided political or religious link to a news article, editorial, or blog we are declaring we "are" something or "stand for" something ... and, therefore, creating a potential border between others.

Granted, sometimes you just have to share some positive bit of news that you are happy about or something that is truly informative. I think that is great and one of the joys of Facebook: being able to rejoice in others' happiness. As long as it is not information you are sharing to change others' minds to "your side."

But do we have to keep waving our flags of belonging over and over again? It seems to me—and I am guilty of this—that this is nothing other than tribal behavior, which by its nature is dualistic and divisive. Let's face it, after one or two of these postings, most of our Facebook friends already know how we feel about things and "what side we're on." After that, aren't we really only trying to push it in the faces of our "friends" who don't share our beliefs?

I am particularly offended by the divisive nature of those poke-fun-at postings I see routinely on Facebook. These are the ones sharing the latest political or religious bashing jokes, satires, cartoons, and videos from Late Night talk/comedy. I may even find them funny, if I am on the "right side" ... but, if not, it feels downright mean-spirited.

Facebook, Internet chat groups, and social media make it very easy to be snarky—and even downright abusive—in ways we wouldn't dream of doing face-to-face or on the phone. I think we would all agree we would never tell a Christian joke to someone you know is an evangelical Christian, at a dinner party or a business meeting. Yet do we even stop to think that that's what we're doing with some of the things we post on Facebook?

Zenshin Michael Haederle wrote about this phenomena in an article in the Winter 2009 Tricycle magazine called "Dharma Wars." He quoted John Suller, a psychology professor at Rider University, who says that Internet users readily fall prey to what Suler calls the "online disinhibition effect."

Suller says the medium itself drives you to act out it ways you normally wouldn't because "people experience their computers and online environments as extension of their selves...extension of their minds...and therefore feel free to project their inner dialogues...into exchanges with others."

I have witnessed this myself. I most recently experienced it during the online debate over the Supreme Court's ruling on the Affordable Care Act. People, who I wouldn't have expected to, reacted in angry and vocal ways—surprising me. Even if they didn't always directly comment, they posted very angry links or gave "likes" to aggressive, sarcastic, and angry thoughts ... on both sides.

It made me question my own posting behavior and encouraged me to renew my vow to question each thing I am tempted to post or like, before I do so ... as a test to see if it is something I would say directly to anyone I've allowed to view my posts. Since I renewed that vow, I have stopped myself many times.

Think about it.